Category Archives: spirituality

Apr27

Kairos / Chronos

Posted on by
Standard

The close of my ministry with Live Oak Unitarian Universalist Church is coming quickly. It boils down to a pastoral visit, a parable for the children, a sermon for the grownups, a farewell to and from all, and a walk through the building and through the labyrinth before turning in my keys.

I am a fortunate woman to have served this congregation for nearly nine years. That is a substantial chunk of time since my ordination nineteen years ago.

Chronos refers to time in ordinary terms, as in past, present, and future. It is measurable in nanoseconds and in geological eras. Events happen and recede into the past. We plan for the future and it’s here so quickly I often say, “The dates in your calendar are closer than they appear.”

In Greek mythology, Chronos is the personification of Time. Kairos has a different Greek meaning for time: the opportune moment. Typically something special happens at just that “right” moment in time.

In chronos terms, April 30 is my last day at Live Oak. I can look back over my time there and the history before then, and I can estimate with increasing certitude how the next few days will play out.

In terms of kairos, this is an opportune moment for nearly anything to transpire. Whenever there is a change in leadership the entire system shifts. Transitions begin with an ending, then go through a neutral zone of flux and possibility, and end with a beginning: something new and not entirely predictable. T.S. Eliot said it this way in The Four Quartets:

What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.

I don’t think he meant that in absolute terms. “Where we start from” changes and if we land there again we land with different experiences, wisdom, and insight (or a new chance to learn the same lessons again).

My immediate plans are to travel. My husband Jon and I will take a road trip to see friends in North Carolina. We have both been working so hard that a break will be most welcome. Yesterday was our 15th (!) anniversary. Time on the road will give us a chance truly to catch up while leaving ordinary responsibilities behind. A second honeymoon! We’ll be back in time for me to preach in San Antonio–perhaps an antidote to the temptation to “run away from home.”

June will find me on a journey to Tokyo to visit my son Rob, his wife Lin, and Lin’s extended family. The only other time I visited Rob in Tokyo was in 2003, I believe, the first year he moved there. Who knew he would stay so long, teaching English, working as a messenger, and now computer programming? Who knew he would meet his Taiwanese wife because she wanted someone to climb Mt. Fuji with her? He has been back to the States a few times; I’m excited about my return trip.

Returning June 14 I’ll have just barely enough time to reset my biological clock, do some laundry, and repack to fly to Phoenix on the 17th. This trip will be for the General Assembly of the Unitarian Universalist Association. We’re calling this one a “Justice General Assembly” to draw attention to our witness on comprehensive immigration reform. Where better than Arizona to raise our voices?

Those are chronos events, to be sure. The kairos comes in the possibility–no, the certainty–that my life will spin into a direction unknown. It won’t be Kansas any more, Toto! My ministry will form and reform as the months and moments occur. I am open to new possibilities.

I have such high hopes for Live Oak as well. Spinning a congregation in a new direction will also be inevitable, but it will likely be a little longer in duration. Have any of you noticed the speed of church? This transition will be rapid in congregational terms but terribly slow for the “early adopters.” I am so excited for their future. Since change is inevitable, let’s all make the best of it!

Be blessed, companions, as I have been blessed.

Mar31
Posted on by
Aside

What a great occasion March 30, 2012! Brian Ferguson was ordained to Unitarian Universalist ministry by the members of the San Marcos Unitarian Universalist Fellowship. The sanctuary was packed with well wishers from Kerrville, San Antonio, Austin, Waco, and Dallas as well as San Marcos. I was pleased to see several members of Live Oak who made the trip south through rush hour traffic. Clergy robed up and wore their beautiful stoles full of symbolism and color. Delicious appetizers greeted us before the service and even more delights greeted us in the buffet line after the service. Thanks, San Marcos volunteers and caterers!

We send our best healing wishes to Will Bryant, who was to play the piano, and to Ann Allen, who was to present the new stole to Brian. Will was in a car accident and Ann had a fall so neither of them could attend.

The Rev. Aaron While, Associate Minister at First UU Church in Dallas, delivered a fine sermon. He is the proud (and exhausted) father of his first baby Henry, born March 7. Aaron admitted that he might be the first preacher to fall asleep at the pulpit. But he did not. It was wise, witty, and wonderful–filled with the wonder and beauty of ministry.

Other colleagues read or sang or prayed. The Rev. Meg Barnhouse delivered a “charge” to the congregation. Among other things she advised them not to needle their minister with piddly little things. He is called to lead and to pursue the vision, not to worry about whether his tie is the right color. The congregation can support the minister by “keeping him in mind” as their spiritual leader, though merely a man.

I delivered the charge to Brian himself. Someone mentioned later that its emphasis on self-care and balance could apply to nearly everyone, so here is the text as written, if not exactly as spoken:

Charge to the Minister: Rev. Brian Ferguson

Rev. Kathleen Ellis

30 March 2012

Brian, this ordination, this laying on of hands, and your new stole have set you apart. You and your congregation will shape each other over time. They have asked you to speak your truth; to teach wonder and mystery as well as facts; to witness and act on your moral convictions; to officiate for many life transitions; and to serve with love and kindness. That’s all they want! Walking on water is not a requirement.

We already know you’re flexible. Not content with a standard internship you ended up with 3 completely different intern supervisors—Davidson Loehr, Chuck Freeman, and me—in 2 very different congregations—1st UU and Live Oak in Austin. What an experience of observation while remaining out of the crosshairs of conflict! Yes, flexibility is an asset.

You in turn have offered to share curiosity, encouragement, and courage in this wonderful world of parish ministry. Your new stole represents this life to which you are called. When you wear it you are yoked in service of something greater than yourself.

Both you and the congregation spoke of love. That’s hardly a term to be taken lightly because it carries with it one of the most fundamental desires from the moment of birth until the dying of the light.

My charge to you this evening is for you to take care of your spirit, mind, and body.  Infuse these three with love and the knowledge that time waits for no one. The dates in your calendar are closer than they appear!

So take care of yourself for the long haul. You already have a split residency between here and Austin. Make the most of your time in each place, but don’t wear yourself to a frazzle at either end of that stretch of road. You are the one to set boundaries on your work. No one but you will know how much has been asked of you. Ministry never ends so you have to draw the line somewhere every single day. It will wait! And you will work much more efficiently and quickly on the things that matter if you are well rested and in a good frame of mind.

Pray. Center yourself to the point that you know how your spirit is today. Then you can pray for guidance, pray for the people, pray for the earth and everything riding on it. Seek out spiritual direction from someone who will encourage you to grow your spirit. Or find a text or poem that leads you on a path of growth and challenge. Do whatever it takes to feed and nurture your spirit.

As for your mind, read and discuss as widely as possible. Join a book club that chooses books and subjects you never knew existed. Read to learn and read for fun. Get involved in activities outside the church. All of these encounters help keep your mind open and agile.

As for your body, celebrate your health and pay attention to keeping it. Good nutrition and exercise of heart, lungs, and muscles will go a long way toward satisfaction with life and in ministry.

Take time for your family, beginning with Natalie and Isla, who teach you so much about the world through their eyes. Living as an independent family unit is not always easy, especially when you combine different cultures and personalities. It takes time and patience when you are together and it helps that Natalie understands quite a lot about church life behind the scenes. Isla brings youth as well as wisdom and a special bond with her dad as girls so often develop.

Remember your family of origin. Although they may be far away in miles, you carry them in your heart: your mum Margaret Ferguson, so far away and so frail in Scotland and her older sister Aunt Marion; your brother Alistair who lives in Moscow; your cousin Anne Reid with whom you are still so close she might well have been a sister; your father Ian, who died four years ago but remains a part of you. They are your roots and branches and will remain so forever even though you are scattered around the world.

Love your family; love your neighbor; love God; love life itself. Do you know yet what you love at the center of your being? Let love of something be your foundation, your faith, your north star.

Love the congregation, who range from those who feel self-assured to those who find it difficult even to love themselves.  Each of them needs you. But before you can love anyone or anything else you have to love yourself first.

Ministry will call upon you to serve as a leader, a pastor, a priest, a prophet, a role model and a rabbi. Have you already learned to juggle? There will be lonely times when you have to stand alone for something you believe is right and honorable. There will be crowded times when you can scarcely hear yourself think.

Whenever you feel alone and isolated and whenever you feel crowded and overwhelmed that’s where your colleagues come in handy. A number of us have driven many miles for this great occasion because we want to show our support today and in future years. None of us can stand in your shoes, but you can be sure that we will support you when you call upon us, just as we will turn to you when we need advice or a listening ear. Take care of yourself: spirit, mind, and body. Infuse yourself with love and nurture yourself over time. That will be the basis of your great ministry.

One more thing, Brian. Take everything I’ve said with a grain of salt . . . so long as you remember this: have fun! Celebrate! Leap for joy! Believe in miracles! Be yourself!

. . . and let your inner Scot shine!

Amen

What a great occasion!

Mar7

And the winner is . . .

Posted on by
Standard

Sermon Series: Doorways and Threshholds

Coming in or out, over or through, we continually encounter doorways and decide whether or not to cross the threshhold. This series offers some of the lessons learned as we have navigated these passages together.

Or, “The Preposition Series”

Here’s a link to the series. March 4 message is posted in text and audio. Others will follow, all in good time.

Blessings to all!

Mar5

Name this series!

Posted on by
Standard

Suggest a name for this series, the last of my sermons at Live Oak . . .

Over the next couple of months there is method to my madness. It’s this “bully pulpit” from which I want to cover a few foundational aspects of my ministry and that of the church. After all, I gave myself the title “Minister of Congregational Life.” Five sermons, five themes:

1) Mar. 4: How do we welcome people who come to Live Oak? It’s not enough just to have a comfortable place for ourselves, though of course we want that. We also have to make room for about 10 visitors every Sunday—to welcome them, share with them who we are, and invite them into further participation.

2) Mar. 25: How do we move from this sanctuary and oasis of the spirit into the bigger world out there? We need to find our voice and we need to take it out into the market square.

3) Apr. 1: This has to be fun! On April Fool’s Day we’ll take a lighter look at ourselves and how this can be an absolutely, positively delightful place to grow in mind, body, and spirit.

4) Apr. 8: On Easter Sunday we’ll have our traditional Flower Communion. For us, Easter is indeed about resurrection, but it is a resurrection of nature, a resurrection of spring, and a resurrection of community. The use of ritual and a lovely exchange of flowers is an important aspect of congregational life.

5) Apr. 29: Finally, we’ll look at departures and other journeys. I can’t help but think of the people whose homes, offices, and schools were completely wiped out in this week’s tornadoes. Departures can be sudden and devastating, or they can be well anticipated and prepared. Still, no matter how much preparation is done, the departure comes in the middle of the story and no one knows the ending. . . . Maybe good, maybe bad, too soon to tell.

Feb19

Spiraling through Time and Space

Posted on by
Standard

It’s weird. I am “hurtling” north on Interstate 35 yet it seems as though I’m going back in time.

Memory triggers for me included Bruceville-Eddy, home of Greene Family Camp where I studied world religions with students from 4 different seminaries; Lorena, where a friend used to live and we studied together; Waco, where I lived and worked for 3 1/2 years and have gone back as a Board workshop facilitator and as a consultant; Elm Mott, where a pair of sisters grew up and each became UU; Lake Whitney, where I know someone who used to be UU in membership but is still UU in practice.

I approached Dallas where I attended Perkins School of Theology and taught classes at First Unitarian-Dallas, then veered off toward Ft. Worth and Arlington, where I was a student minister. These were all places where I taught and served and learned ever so much. Memories of those I married, those I buried, those I blessed, and those I left behind.

Back in time. All these thoughts were mixed with the knowledge of leave-taking from my current ministry and with the personal growth and setbacks and losses and gains I’ve experienced over these years. Oh, the places I’ve been!

So I was moving forward and backward in time and space, watching 20-25 years pass before my eyes–not in a flash as is told regarding near-death experiences, but in slow motion. Visions included spirals up and down through multiple experiences and lessons I’ve had to learn more than once.

Weird, but wonderful to drive alone in a car listening over and over to Terri Hendrix, who sings, “Moon on the water, help me to rise.” In so-called “ordinary time” (if we’re lucky) there sometimes comes an unusual confluence of ideas and insights, opportunities and options. Oh, the places I’ll go!

All this has contributed to who I am today, for good or ill. I have gifts as well as blind spots. There have been times of trauma, challenge, conflict, and betrayal. There have been dreams come true, successes, triumphs, and joy. I am reminded of Bruce Findlow’s lyrics in hymn #128, Singing the Living Tradition:

“For all that is our life we sing our thanks and praise; for all life is a gift which we are called to use to build the common good and make our own days glad.”

Jan27

Kairos

Posted on by
Standard

Kairos has found me at last in this time, this space, this moment of reflection. Cool morning, warm sun streaming through my favorite window.

Having moved non-stop it seems from holidays, son’s wedding, conference, sister-time, ministers’ retreat (with work to fill “spare time”), pastoral care, a couple of sermons squeezed in, meetings, plans, and more, means that personal time has been limited at best. Not a half day off with no work that had to be done, to the point that it did not qualify as true rest–just another thing to wedge between A & B and on toward Z. I have not had/blocked out enough time to give my soul a chance to catch up.

So I pause without agenda–except to let everything go–for the next few hours. Let this sunshine recharge my weakened batteries for a spell. The battery warning light was not glowing orange but red. Reserves have been tapped frequently to get through specific tasks or responsibilities only to leave me depleted at the end. Complete a task–barely–and move on before taking time to sweep my spirit clean. Float free like wind and water.

So let my spirit clear up with these blue skies after a gray day; let this breeze flow through me; let this poem speak to my heart; let this walk bring me down to earth; let this music dance for me until I can dance, too.

Jan2

Back to the Real World . . .

Posted on by
Standard

Rob and Rinko are on their way back to Tokyo (Kawasaki-Shi, to be more precise). They will spend one night in San Francisco with her uncle. They’ll be home in the early hours of Thursday, Japan time, and back to work just a few hours later.

It’s so quiet here without them! My heart has grown larger with the addition of a new family member plus conversations about starting a family in a few years. Even his younger brother Fred is pondering marriage and family. They were always “late bloomers” and that has always been a good thing for them. Fine young men.

The wedding was “whimsical and wonderful.” It was Lin’s first visit to Texas, though she has been to California and New York. Rob made most of the wedding decisions (in spite of anyone else’s advice). You will probably guess which parts gave me pause!

Lunch before the wedding at Golden Corral. This was a sentimental choice because of multiple times Rob went there as a teen and young adult. Lin was quite happy, as she is with almost everything. An amazing selection of fried foods, but there were raw veggies as well. It was a little awkward to sit with my ex Bob and our younger son Fred, but we managed to reminisce about some of the good old days. His wife did not join this party of a dozen or more.

In spite of my worries otherwise, Rob did actually wear a tux. I walked him down one aisle, then Bob walked Lin down the other aisle. Not until it was time to get Rob did I see that he really and truly would not be wearing shoes. That felt awkward to me but it made him happy and Lin didn’t mind. He goes barefoot whenever possible and just has flip flops in his backpack when necessary for restaurants, etc.

The wedding took place at Northwoods UU Church in The Woodlands, TX. It is where the boys grew up and I was a member for 15 years before they ordained me in 1993. Rob and Fred were there for that occasion, too, so it seemed like the best place for Rob’s wedding. We had plenty of time after lunch to walk through the building and grounds that we had all helped build in 1984-85. Lin and I even took a walk in the neighborhood until it was time to get ready for the main event.

I helped Lin with her wedding dress. Since the room didn’t have a mirror at all (I had asked ahead of time) it was good to have brought a full length mirror where she fussed with makeup and headpiece.

During the ceremony, the minister read a “love letter” written by Rob and Lin. With a reference to Rob’s longstanding nickname as ThunderRabbit, it concluded with a reference to rabbits happily playing in a field with plenty of ice cream and pizza available. At that point the congregation was signaled to put on their rabbit ears to surprise Lin and Rob.

Family photos after the ceremony, cake and sparkling cider and other goodies afterward.

Karen and Bob had provided the cake, some of the drinks, and the flowers–a bouquet for Lin and a boutonniere for Rob. Karen had loaned a pearl necklace to Lin. Karen left after about an hour of the reception and retrieved the pearls. I ran out to my car to get new pearls to give Lin–necklace, earrings, and 3 bracelets. I had bought them on sale plus they were less expensive river pearls,  but had held them back because I knew Karen had loaned her some. I thought these were interesting with their irregular shapes, and felt just right for Lin. She was delighted and I was so glad to have bought them for her.

After cleanup and lockup, fifteen of us migrated to Dimassi’s for dinner. We had already had dessert first! Jon wisely didn’t eat; I overdid it just to taste some of the delicious Greek delicacies. The party finally broke up and dispersed in several directions. What a fun time!

Nov28

Where Is God?

Posted on by
Standard

“Where is God in all this for you now?” It’s a typical question posed by my spiritual director. Here is today’s answer, as always subject to change!

For me God is in my heart along with all the joy and sorrow and especially with the confusion, trying to fan a flame of certainty or certitude or clarity. Then if God is within me and all beings and the universe and bigger than the cosmos, God is the heartbeat of it all; the electrical impulse that keeps us going (until it doesn’t–but then, it’s still pulsing), and of course God is linked to the breath–breath of life and cessation of breath (yet it is still flowing all around us).

In the flow . . . let it all go . . . breathe in peace / God . . . breathe out love / God . . . “all shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well” (Julian of Norwich).

Dietrich Bonhoeffer said, “I believe in the sun even when it is not shining.” When I pay attention to the breath of life and the heartbeat within everything I believe in the power of God and I believe in everlasting love that powers and sustains us all. Rest in that love.

Yes!

Nov15

New Directions

Posted on by
Standard

While I might enjoy playing a role with New Directions on “Glee,” my title actually refers to new directions in ministry.

I don’t actually know what direction I’ll be heading, but various options have been flitting through my head.

I asked friends for advice about what to do. First response: raise chickens! My friend said a person can learn a lot from chickens. True enough: there’s the fowl-like fear of change, development of pecking order, best conditions for egg laying. Hmm. That doesn’t seem quite right, though it would be rather entertaining.

Meanwhile I am looking over the questions posed in the ministerial search process. It is high time for me to update my answers and see what opportunities might be available.

Meanwhile I’m still in my current setting until May and there’s lots of ministry still to do…loving the people and also wanting more for all of us. I’m here until I’m not here. Isn’t that profound? But I intend to do my best through this winter and spring. I’ll be looking for allies to help us all along the way.

Oct6

Amtrak to Seattle

Posted on by
Standard

Sept. 26, 2011

An early morning start in Vancouver, AB, to begin our journey home via Amtrak to Seattle. It saved some time that we had picked up our tickets the day prior when there was less of a crowd. The seats on the train are as comfy as first class on a plane and the scenery along the way is spectacular! So moist and green, unlike Austin where apparently temps are back to 100+ degrees. Sheesh!

Imagine a virtual tunnel of forest and lush undergrowth. We have crossed the wide Frasier River in Westminster and now we’re on an exclusive train path through the woods on a rainy day. Ah! And now suddenly a golf course. Even the paths look a bit like water hazards today. Trains are a great and cheap way to travel if they happen to connect to where you want to go. Free wifi, snacks available for purchase, and plenty of room to walk around.

On one such walk a young girl stood in the aisle. She showed me a small sign that says “Maggie is 3!” I stopped to congratulate her and wish her a Happy Birthday. Three years is a great accomplishment if you ask me! Children have learned so very much by that age (and so have their parents/guardians!)

Hmm, we are crossing a marsh and river, now forest and towns on one side and ocean on the other. There really is abundant water in some parts of the world. Here’s to the fishers, farmers and ranchers everywhere dependent on the uncertainties of weather.

Stopped for a while near the border. A Border Patrol agent will board the train and check passports and customs forms–actually I see 3 of them. No fruits or vegetables, please! A fast check, though, and we’re on our way.

Next stop, Bellingham, WA. About 20 people boarded and 1 debarked–gradually filling seats as we traveled south. It was nice to view sailboats in the harbor and a shipyard where a ship is under construction. Binoculars were handy for that sighting! We have stopped for a couple of passing trains as we switched tracks.

Brief stops at Mount Vernon and Stanwood stations. Along here we see a lot of farmland. Skies are overcast but the rain has lifted. Fall colors provide a beautiful background as we travel past farm houses, barns, crops, livestock, and orchards. Hay bales are wrapped in plastic and ready for winter storage.

We have crossed a drawbridge and under a highway bridge as we approach Everett. There’s a lumberyard with huge piles of wood chips, some reddish, others brown. Basic ingredients for plywood, I suspect. Next door are piles of granite in various sizes and a recycling center.

On to Edmonds then Seattle. We’ll take SeaTac light rail to our hotel near the airport, then try to connect with Jon’s daughter Alicia. All this plus some of my favorite iPod selections ranging from Andrea Bocelli, operatic tenor/baritone; to Iris DeMent, country western singer; to k.d.lang, blues singer. A delicious day indeed!

Next postings will be about towns and cities we visited. Stay tuned!

This slideshow requires JavaScript.