Category Archives: spirituality

Mar7

Blessed and Happy and Full of Love

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So my earlier post was simply a link to Loco’s prescription for “surgically removing writers block” in a careful way. He started loosening up with a book he couldn’t put down; he exercised his mind by getting into a writers’ group; he chose a subject that would keep his interest and carry him forward; and he replaced the hate that was rising within him with love. He said a lot more than that but you should read it for yourself to get a fuller context: http://www.locoinyokohama.com/2013/03/05/how-to-surgically-remove-writers-block/

One challenge for me has been to live and work alone in Houston for most of the week while Jon lives and works alone in Austin most of the week. I’m not complaining, just observing that my tendency has been to come back to my apartment and either work some more or slip into some mindless tv or resort to comfort food.

Time to get out of that rut!

First stop, music. I changed my schedule to put me in Austin on Monday evenings where I can rehearse with Tapestry Singers and the small ensemble Loose Threads. It’s my 10th year and we’re coming up to my 20th concert on May 5. To return to that great community of women and song is a real lift to my spirits. In the car I can listen to mp3s of our songs to help implant them into my brain. By next week I should be able to sing along with greater accuracy.

Before starting this entry, I couldn’t find a radio station that suited me this evening, so I turned on Pandora and chose the Shuffle option to add interest. Folk, jazz, classical, piano concerti, bluegrass; people like Hubert Laws on flute, Dar Williams on vocals, Wynton Marsalis on trumpet, and already I have the makings of a musical feast!

Exercise was simply a walk around my neighborhood to loosen up my body and mind. Blackbirds were coming home from work, too, and making a racket that made me smile. Neighbor Alice, frail and elderly, was walking around the complex as usual, opening the door or gate for people if she is close by. She was a librarian before retirement–talk about a world of books! If she can get out for a walk several times a day I have no excuse. I do like to walk over to Memorial Park, close to my apartment, or to Hermann Park, close to the church. A beautiful day.

Yesterday Jon was here and we watched the movie Happy. I think next time someone asks me how I am, I’ll say “happy.” Much better than the usual “busy,” don’t you think? You CAN choose happiness.

A couple of interesting things are coming up in my work. On the 16th at 10am, a Blessing of the Animals. We have invited a local shelter to bring some of their adoptable pets for blessings and some extra love. I’ve been told that one year someone brought a donkey; another time, one of those hissing cockroaches (I’m not sure I’m up for that, actually).

In April, we will have a special Coming of Age worship service for ten young people. We’re so proud of them and their work all year long! They will be writing their own statements of belief and I’m sure each credo will rival any religious doctrine. When beliefs come from the heart at a time of spiritual awakening they touch all our hearts. This Friday I’ll get to meet with them during their lock-in to start planning the service with the kids and their advisors.

Also in April there will be a memorial service I will be privileged to conduct. It’s unusual to have this much time to plan such a service, but that’s what the family requested. Two sons will be my primary collaborators.

There is a good bit of work involved in preparing for special events but the payoff is huge. Rites of passage, all three, will include blessings for those beloved with whom we share an extraordinary life. Considering all these blessings from birth to death, along with our animal companions, love and happiness fill my spirit. May you be blessed and happy and full of love!

Mar7

Locohama: How to Surgically Remove Writers Block

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This, from Loco in Yokohama

I have other reasons for not writing here for a while, but this could be the antidote!

http://www.locoinyokohama.com/2013/03/05/how-to-surgically-remove-writers-block/

Jan7

Monkey Onsen

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It’s snowing!

Light snow became snow showers overnight. By morning the accumulation was so beautiful–about 4 inches of new snow. On Saturday after breakfast we put on our warmest clothes, paid a small fee for snow boots, and were given a ride up the mountain. From there we set out to walk about 2 kilometers further up the mountain to Monkey Park!

The snowy trail was half the fun and we stopped often for photo ops.

Snow monkeys, properly known as Japanese macaque, live in the area year ’round. They spend nights in trees higher up, but come down to a hot spring and nearby stream during the day. Humans also come there during the day for research or photography, some of them with impressive cameras. The “Monkey Onsen” has a web site with more information and live web cam at http://www.jigokudani-yaenkoen.co.jp/

JIGOKUDANI YAEN-KOEN, “The world of Snow Monkey,” has attracted people since 1964. Jigokudani means “Hell Valley” because of its steep cliffs, steam rising everywhere from hot springs, and snow cover four months of the year.

We watched in wonder and amusement at the monkeys soaking in the steamy onsen, grooming each other, sitting on the ledge, or digging in snow for morsels of food. As long as we don’t scare them or try to feed them, they are basically disinterested in people.

A heated cabin nearby offers hot drinks, souvenirs, displays, and prize-winning photographs of snow monkeys. It’s a very popular stopping place!

We made it down the mountain in time to catch a bus back to the train station, just a short walk from the family-run inn. I fell a couple of times on the ice–just went down on one knee the first time but fell pretty hard on my hip the second time. My younger escorts and I linked arms the rest of the way.

It was nice to get back to the warmth of the inn, then into the onsen, with time for a nap before dinner. A beautiful day!

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Jan1

Window into Self, Window onto the World

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8 window

The circle of life has brought us to a new calendar year that serves as a silent reminder of the passage of time. It comes one week after the longest and most elaborate cultural and religious holiday of the year. A natural pause after that frenetic season lends itself to reflection on another yearly journey around the sun.

Let light shine through the window into your self

and from you onto the world.

There is an underlying rhythm to a year that includes seasonal flows, recurring cycles, and ordinary days. A semester in school has a flow of preparation, instruction, study, and final exams. Recurring cycles include birthday celebrations, graduations, and anniversaries; they include the grief of layoffs, divorce, illness and death. It is important to celebrate well and to grieve well, but not to expect them to balance one another.

Most of the year fills with ordinary plans and projects while constantly weighing priorities. When someone asks, “How are you?” the most common answer is “Busy.” There is a long list of things to do, but I have seen plenty of idle time, too. A quick nap has become more acceptable so that we can then get busy again.

From time to time the world intrudes in unexpected yet predictable ways. Ordinary days are sometimes interrupted by news of natural disasters, public shootings, political battles, warfare. On the positive side are acts of courage that go with every tragedy.

Let’s turn a new page, shall we? We have seen the best and worst of society. We can live our ordinary days with their special rhyme and reason. But add this to your list: Reflect on your one brief life. Then find some courage to change something for the better. A “busy” life needs to mean something to yourself, to your loved ones, and to the world.

 

Dec22

Christmas Weekend

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Christmas weekend is upon us at First Unitarian Universalist Church of Houston, like millions of other churches around the world. The longing for peace and a spark of hope is always strong at this time of year.

Tomorrow there will be an engaging sermon by the Rev. Dr. Leonora Montgomery, Minister Emerita of Bay Area Unitarian Universalist Church. (No, not the Bay Area in California, but in Clear Lake City, Texas, home of NASA’s Mission Control.) Well into her 9th decade of life, Leonora will speak of her pilgrimage toward God and invite us to entertain at least the possibility of God’s existence. Her journey took many turns over the years. Now she no longer worries about whether or not she is right. Instead she is satisfied that, having explored many options from childhood on, her beliefs stand firm.

That sounds good to me. Believe what you believe without worry. Explore at your own pace if you wish, but don’t worry if you don’t have all the answers. Who does? No one really knows all there is to know about God.

Christmas Eve at First Church offers a double header. At 5:30, a family pageant coordinated by our Religious Educator Natalie Browne will be a treat for all ages. Adults will ponder lovely messages and food for thought and the children and youth move us all into and through one of the most beloved stories of all: the birth of a child. Shepherds and magi and angels add layers of importance to this child’s birth. Did the people who paid their respects know what he would teach during his lifetime? Could they have imagined ideas so progressive to his time that he would someday be executed?

But at Christmas there is only the birth of this holy child, reminding us that “Each night a child is born is a holy night” (Sophia Lyon Fahs).

At 7 we’ll have a service of lessons and carols. Choirs will sing at both services, but at the second one we’ll have a brass quartet. What a fanfare! The Rev. Dr. Daniel O’Connell will deliver the homily.

Both services will end in the traditional way: with candlelight throughout the sanctuary and Silent Night sung into the darkened space. “All is calm, all is bright,” we sing with hope in our hearts even knowing that this world is chock full of sorrow and tragedy. On this symbolic night let the spirit of love flow through every heart.

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The “Nativity of our Lord” carved in rock salt in the cathedral of Saint Kinga, in the salt mine of Wieliczka in Poland, 101 meters under the surface…
Sculptor of the figures: Mieczysław Kluzek
St. Kinga’s Chapel

Phote by Klearchos Kapoutsis

This photo was taken on August 1, 2009 in Lednica Niemiecka, Wieliczka, Lesser Poland, PL, using aCanon EOS 450D.

Nov27

Juggling by Threes

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This has been a great day to juggle several things: generating an order of service for a memorial service, meeting with a team of ministers, educators, and musicians about our collaborative worship plans, developing a proposed plan for a Rapid Response Network in the Houston area, and adjusting my 2013 calendar for incoming events. Interesting that I chose the word “incoming.” Rather indicative of my feeling that multiple things are coming at me at once. The dates in your calendar are closer than they appear.

Well okay then.

This morning I read some advice from Management Tools (a great resources with a free newsletter, podcasts, and the option to sign up for more). Not revolutionary but practical and easy as 1, 2, 3. When things are coming at you, fast and furious, or you find yourself stuck in the mire of inertia, there’s something satisfying about the number 3.

One: Pick the next three things you need to do.  Write them down on a post it or a piece of scrap paper.  Do them.  Every time you get distracted and think – what was I supposed to be doing? – go back to your short list.  When you’ve done the first three, do another three.  You’ll be amazed at how many completed post-it notes you’ll end up with.  I find this helps on days full of interruptions or when I’m feeling a little [overwhelmed].
Two: At the end of the day, pick the most important three things for you to do the next day.  Write them down.  Do those things FIRST, before email, before phone calls, before any meetings.  If you use this technique, you’ll always be working on your priorities.
Three: If your list is very long, pick three like things, and do just those.  Three phone calls, three emails, three pages you need to print, three pieces of filing.  If you like stability, do three more of those things until all that group is done.  If you like variety, do three of something different.
Part of their advice reminds me of another resource, a book with a great title: Never Check Email in the Morning by my hero Julie Morgenstern (Fireside/Simon& Schuster, 2005). In other words, take control of your day before it is swallowed by other (very important) information, requests, or events.
Busy days can be the most productive of all. When I had just 10 minutes before a meeting I sent out the first draft of that order of service, printed a document for the meeting, and showed up ready to participate. After the meeting I had received a reply that generated a second draft. Feels good to accomplish a lot. There’s also a down side, so read on.
Give yourself a break! Just as skipping a meal to lose weight just means you’re so hungry later you want to eat everything in sight, going non-stop from one task to another means you starve yourself of time for reflection. If you have to schedule time for yourself in your calendar, do it! Then you can honestly tell someone you have other plans.
So here’s what I’m working on, just for me: yoga in the morning, a walk every day after lunch, and learning and practicing a Bach aria assigned by my voice teacher. Easy as 1, 2, 3. Then I might pick another three or maybe even the same ones!
What works for you? How do you balance work, family, chores, and self-care? It won’t always balance on a given day, but is there a rhythm you can sustain over time?
Nov19

Bless you!

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Here’s the text of my sermon Nov. 11 at First Unitarian Universalist Church in Houston, TX. Bless You

A clip: “Blessings restore our souls. When you count them up the problems of the day diminish their hold. Be a blessing. Do you know that you are already a blessing? . . . Do you know that you bless one another? . . .”

As we approach our American Thanksgiving, our only holiday that requires no gifts or cards, just the hospitable tradition of sharing a meal. May you be blessed in many ways this week, no matter where you live!

If you have patience,  time, and interest, there’s a video link to the sermon   http://vimeo.com/53523519

 

Nov1

In brief

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It’s November! My six-month break from employment is over!

On Monday I’ll be moving to an apartment in Houston, thanks to the help of my husband Jon and his faithful little pickup truck Francis. I’ve tried to select the lightest and most compact furniture possible. Books are harder to compress, but I was quite selective and filled just five boxes. Most likely more will migrate to Houston as I travel back and forth.

The Administrator tells me that my name is on the church sign, business cards were ordered, and my office is ready. Sweet!

Meanwhile in Austin, I’ve written a meditation, selected a reading, and written the first draft of about half a sermon. Not ready for primetime, but it’s a start. Our sermon series is on Blessing, featuring four ministers and four topics: (Un)Expected Blessings; Blessed Are They; Bless You; and Choose to Bless the World. Our Big Idea is “Be a Blessing.” The work is done collaboratively with ideas contributed by the four ministers, three religious educators, and the lead music director. A blessing indeed!

Before running off to Houston, in just two days I’ll be singing with Tapestry Singers for our 25th Anniversary concert! Loose Threads, our small ensemble, will be singing five songs this time and I need to review some of them!

Oct2

Notes from a Successful Failure

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It’s so nice out today. Recent rain and a cooling off period! A cardinal brightens my view and a light breeze carresses this early fall in Austin.

This is a lucky time, a liminal time.  Between jobs I can simply fantasize about my next ministry; anticipate without the burden of specifics; reflect on generalized anxieties that stem from a lifetime of experience.

I would love to know if any of this applies to you, my faithful readers, so do let me know!

Self-deprecation, self-doubt: I am my own worst critic. I’m smart enough and experienced enough to know how inadequate I am to life, to vocation (in my case, ministry). Praise feeds my ego and every criticism goes straight to my stash of inferiority. Compliments from unexpected quarters leave me both grateful and amazed. Loved ones may say I’m great, but how can they be objective? On the other hand, doesn’t self-criticism place me smack in the middle of humanity? Believe in it or not, I know I can do  a good  job.

[Here’s where you can substitute your own fine qualities]: Speaking for myself, I have plenty of experience and ability; a gift for collaboration and synthesis, and a calming presence in groups and with individuals.  Whether or not I am called to a specific place, I can remain confident in my ministerial excellence

Perfectionism: Perfection is perhaps a worthy goal but it is neither attainable NOR necessary! My seminary friend Nan posted a quotation on her computer–“Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.” She was even more of a perfectionist than I and she was brilliant! The quote was not an invitation to do poor work nor to slack off but simply to say, Do Something and let go of the expectation that it will transform the world. The perfect sermon/essay/column/report is probably still a blank document. Plain paper, blank screen. Just do the writing then edit later if there’s time.

Until something is written there is nothing to edit. Until the text is read or the sermon is delivered there is nothing for reflection. Okay, then, I am a perfectionist by nature and always seek to do my best. However, I meet deadlines and come prepared. My sermons are rich, thoughtful, and full of content and story. My delivery is not flashy even after an acting class and an improv class but I am comfortable in the pulpit with notes or outline and there are plenty of people who like them!

Wounded Healer: I am aware of my family dynamics and from whence come the wounds and scars. I have had ample family systems training and use systems theory in my work.

But here’s the good news. My failings as a professional are simply failings as a person. They are part and parcel of my character. They mark me as human (imagine)!  That very simple statement brings me comfort today. Our work in no way expects perfection no matter how many complaints or snide remarks may be thrown our way. Indeed, ministry expects humanity.

We are expected to do our best with our gifts and challenges and within ethical boundaries. We love praise but we learn to live with the complaints that yea, verily, we disappointed or royally screwed up. Sure, we may not be right for a particular ministry, but we are inherently worthy. At the very least we have significant education, multiple supervisors, mentors, and evaluations along the way, and ever-increasing quantities of life experience. We can model what a compassionate and competent person can do when we fail.

Moving to a new home or city or employment is one way to make a new start, but still we bring our best and worst selves along for the ride.

One more thought. I can let God be God–hold all that perfection and ideal and power that eludes every single one of us–and I am human, just doing my best with the choices and challenges life brings. End of sermon!

P.S. About an hour after I wrote the earlier reflection, I accepted the offer of a nine-month ministry as assistant to the Rev. Daniel O’Connell at First Unitarian Universalist Church of Houston! The previous assistant had resigned abruptly and this is to finish out the church year. Back to weekly commuting to/from Austin as I have done before. I think I will learn a lot at First UU, a church that is anchoring a transition to satellite churches–4 clergy for 3 campuses. Hmm, a 3-ring circus!

Sep21

Relationship Talk

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Every now and then a couple’s got to talk. Particularly when transitions are looming, both parties know that there will be changes in their relationship.

The right moment to talk is pretty important, as those of us remember from adverse reactions on other occasions. One such moment comes up when there’s extended time together, like driving all afternoon through lovely countryside. And so Jon and I talked. We’ve been married for 15 years and it isn’t as though we haven’t talked practically every day. This talk was in the context of potential changes in our lives and how it might affect us individually and as a couple.

  • The very things that attract people to one another can irritate when repeated over and over.
  • The tender places or scars from parents or partners years ago remain super sensitive to perceived slights.
  • Mood and headaches unrelated to one person affects how s/he hears the other.
  • Assumptions get right in the way of communication.
  • Even after years together you might be very surprised to realize how you hurt each other.
  • Finding a safe place to talk can save your sanity as well as your relationship.

Two good-hearted people who don’t want to hurt one another will do it anyway. Usually it’s a mistake or a misunderstanding. Sometimes it’s because you didn’t realize it would be a big deal when you went against your best instincts and made the wrong move.

In what ways have you disappointed your Significant Other? How do you get past the old habits and get to the truth? How do you manage big transitions and support your integrity as a couple?

These are not simple questions that to answer once and for all. Relationships over time need nearly constant tweaking and occasional overhauls. I’ve been through a divorce and understand why that it may be both necessary and painful. Better communication would have helped a great deal.

Sometimes the magic works but I think the magic requires hard work to make it even look easy. I’m still learning!                               Discuss.