Category Archives: ministry

Mar27

Anti-SComm Resolution

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On Monday, March 26, 2012, the Commission on Immigrant Affairs and the Austin Human Rights Commission adopted a resolution condemning the implementation of S-Comm in Travis County. S-Comm (i.e. “Secure Communities”) separates families, undermines public safety, and wastes taxpayer dollars.

This resolution was brought forth by a coalition of organizations, including the Austin Immigrant Rights Coalition, Grassroots Leadership, Texas Criminal Justice Coalition, ACLU of Texas, Detention Watch Network, University Leadership Initiative, Texans United for Families, Live Oak Unitarian Universalist Church, Workers Defense Project, American Gateways, and others.

I was asked to be one of the speakers in favor of the resolution. Here is more or less what I said in my two minutes at the podium in Austin’s City Hall:

Thank you for the opportunity to speak. I represent many religious traditions that have spoken out against Secure Communities. After hearing many stories, I believe we can do better.

My religious faith calls me to recognize that no one is “the stranger,” to affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of every person, and to support justice for all. I believe these standards hold for the City of Austin and for Travis County.

We have heard stories about how real people and families are affected by SComm:

–       Good, promising students live in fear of deportation.

–       Families live with violence because they are afraid to call the police.

–       Small children who are citizens are separated from their parents; 5000 Texas children are in foster care at taxpayer expense, and some have been put up for adoption without input from their own mothers.

–       Records can be forged or altered or inaccurate. Yet people spend extra days in jail waiting for deportation, again at our expense.

–       Travis County is asked to participate in deportation for minor misdemeanors even though the measure is intended for felony convictions.

Is this the kind of community we want?

We surely need immigration reform for many reasons, long-term issues for another day, but SComm is a poor substitute for reform. SComm is punitive, short-sighted, destructive of families, and does not promote a win for anyone.

I used to work at a shelter for battered women and their children. The women who succeeded in leaving their abusive partners finally stood up and said, “No to abuse.”

It’s time for Austin and Travis County to stand up and say, “No to SComm.”

This picture was from one of the monitors at City Hall.

Mar7

And the winner is . . .

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Sermon Series: Doorways and Threshholds

Coming in or out, over or through, we continually encounter doorways and decide whether or not to cross the threshhold. This series offers some of the lessons learned as we have navigated these passages together.

Or, “The Preposition Series”

Here’s a link to the series. March 4 message is posted in text and audio. Others will follow, all in good time.

Blessings to all!

Mar5

Name this series!

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Suggest a name for this series, the last of my sermons at Live Oak . . .

Over the next couple of months there is method to my madness. It’s this “bully pulpit” from which I want to cover a few foundational aspects of my ministry and that of the church. After all, I gave myself the title “Minister of Congregational Life.” Five sermons, five themes:

1) Mar. 4: How do we welcome people who come to Live Oak? It’s not enough just to have a comfortable place for ourselves, though of course we want that. We also have to make room for about 10 visitors every Sunday—to welcome them, share with them who we are, and invite them into further participation.

2) Mar. 25: How do we move from this sanctuary and oasis of the spirit into the bigger world out there? We need to find our voice and we need to take it out into the market square.

3) Apr. 1: This has to be fun! On April Fool’s Day we’ll take a lighter look at ourselves and how this can be an absolutely, positively delightful place to grow in mind, body, and spirit.

4) Apr. 8: On Easter Sunday we’ll have our traditional Flower Communion. For us, Easter is indeed about resurrection, but it is a resurrection of nature, a resurrection of spring, and a resurrection of community. The use of ritual and a lovely exchange of flowers is an important aspect of congregational life.

5) Apr. 29: Finally, we’ll look at departures and other journeys. I can’t help but think of the people whose homes, offices, and schools were completely wiped out in this week’s tornadoes. Departures can be sudden and devastating, or they can be well anticipated and prepared. Still, no matter how much preparation is done, the departure comes in the middle of the story and no one knows the ending. . . . Maybe good, maybe bad, too soon to tell.

Feb19

Spiraling through Time and Space

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It’s weird. I am “hurtling” north on Interstate 35 yet it seems as though I’m going back in time.

Memory triggers for me included Bruceville-Eddy, home of Greene Family Camp where I studied world religions with students from 4 different seminaries; Lorena, where a friend used to live and we studied together; Waco, where I lived and worked for 3 1/2 years and have gone back as a Board workshop facilitator and as a consultant; Elm Mott, where a pair of sisters grew up and each became UU; Lake Whitney, where I know someone who used to be UU in membership but is still UU in practice.

I approached Dallas where I attended Perkins School of Theology and taught classes at First Unitarian-Dallas, then veered off toward Ft. Worth and Arlington, where I was a student minister. These were all places where I taught and served and learned ever so much. Memories of those I married, those I buried, those I blessed, and those I left behind.

Back in time. All these thoughts were mixed with the knowledge of leave-taking from my current ministry and with the personal growth and setbacks and losses and gains I’ve experienced over these years. Oh, the places I’ve been!

So I was moving forward and backward in time and space, watching 20-25 years pass before my eyes–not in a flash as is told regarding near-death experiences, but in slow motion. Visions included spirals up and down through multiple experiences and lessons I’ve had to learn more than once.

Weird, but wonderful to drive alone in a car listening over and over to Terri Hendrix, who sings, “Moon on the water, help me to rise.” In so-called “ordinary time” (if we’re lucky) there sometimes comes an unusual confluence of ideas and insights, opportunities and options. Oh, the places I’ll go!

All this has contributed to who I am today, for good or ill. I have gifts as well as blind spots. There have been times of trauma, challenge, conflict, and betrayal. There have been dreams come true, successes, triumphs, and joy. I am reminded of Bruce Findlow’s lyrics in hymn #128, Singing the Living Tradition:

“For all that is our life we sing our thanks and praise; for all life is a gift which we are called to use to build the common good and make our own days glad.”

Jan27

Kairos

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Kairos has found me at last in this time, this space, this moment of reflection. Cool morning, warm sun streaming through my favorite window.

Having moved non-stop it seems from holidays, son’s wedding, conference, sister-time, ministers’ retreat (with work to fill “spare time”), pastoral care, a couple of sermons squeezed in, meetings, plans, and more, means that personal time has been limited at best. Not a half day off with no work that had to be done, to the point that it did not qualify as true rest–just another thing to wedge between A & B and on toward Z. I have not had/blocked out enough time to give my soul a chance to catch up.

So I pause without agenda–except to let everything go–for the next few hours. Let this sunshine recharge my weakened batteries for a spell. The battery warning light was not glowing orange but red. Reserves have been tapped frequently to get through specific tasks or responsibilities only to leave me depleted at the end. Complete a task–barely–and move on before taking time to sweep my spirit clean. Float free like wind and water.

So let my spirit clear up with these blue skies after a gray day; let this breeze flow through me; let this poem speak to my heart; let this walk bring me down to earth; let this music dance for me until I can dance, too.

Nov22

Mother of the Groom

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My older son Rob has been living in Tokyo for almost 9 years. I visited him the first year, thinking I should hurry over there before he came back. But he stayed. He taught English at first; now he is a computer programmer.

The big news is that he married Rinko Hayashi (known as “Lin”) last summer. I have met Lin only through Skype. Her father is Brazilian and her mother Taiwanese. She and her siblings grew up in Rio until she was 10 and her parents divorced. Mom decided to relocate to Tokyo, where her sister was living. So Lin has a rather international perspective simply from life experience.

Lin wanted to climb Mt. Fuji and was looking for a companion to go with her. A mutual friend knew that Rob had made the climb and was the adventurous sort who would gladly go again. That’s how they met. He has always preferred adventure to security. He has been a risk-taker on numerous occasions–on skateboards, roller blades, bicycles, barefoot, etc., and has the scars to prove it!

Lin and Rob are coming to the States for Christmas and New Year’s! They want to have a “real” wedding ceremony and celebration so we’re trying to work out details among all the interested parties. Rob is so laid back he thinks everything will just fall into place. But he proposed New Year’s Eve for the wedding, when it’s hard to find reservations for anything and there are multiple competing interests. Should the wedding be in The Woodlands at his home church? Or should it be in Austin, where there are places to stay? Can we manage two places even though they’re 3 hours apart?

Questions, questions! Many couples take over a year to plan a wedding. I have officiated many, many weddings, but I’ve never been the mother of the groom. A colleague of mine and long-time friend of Rob’s will take care of the ceremony. I have to balance practical concerns with the dreams of simple elegance on a major holiday weekend. How much motherly advice is too much?

Lin wants to buy a dress after they get here–between Dec. 22 and 30–because they are so expensive in Japan. I will advise her to wear whatever makes her feel beautiful. Most of all I want her to feel welcome in this strange country of ours. Welcome to the family, Lin!

Nov15

New Directions

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While I might enjoy playing a role with New Directions on “Glee,” my title actually refers to new directions in ministry.

I don’t actually know what direction I’ll be heading, but various options have been flitting through my head.

I asked friends for advice about what to do. First response: raise chickens! My friend said a person can learn a lot from chickens. True enough: there’s the fowl-like fear of change, development of pecking order, best conditions for egg laying. Hmm. That doesn’t seem quite right, though it would be rather entertaining.

Meanwhile I am looking over the questions posed in the ministerial search process. It is high time for me to update my answers and see what opportunities might be available.

Meanwhile I’m still in my current setting until May and there’s lots of ministry still to do…loving the people and also wanting more for all of us. I’m here until I’m not here. Isn’t that profound? But I intend to do my best through this winter and spring. I’ll be looking for allies to help us all along the way.

Aug5

a meditative moment

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A new (to me) meditation CD helped me relax so nicely. Psychologist Paul Overman has a series of 10 Minutes to Relax CDs. Guided meditation for about 10 minutes and another 10 minutes of relaxing music (Jim Oliver on synthesizer). It’s a great reminder that meditation does not need to take much time. It just needs the space–your personal space–that will bring you back to your center. Doesn’t that feel so good when you let it happen?

So for just one minute, breathe with me.

Let your rib cage expand, . . .

let your breath come smoothly and easily. . . .

Let tension flow all the way through and out of your body. . . .

Let wellbeing flow into you, . . .

from toes and fingers . . .

all the way through to your head. . . .

Then take this moment with you into your day. . . .

Be well.

Jun27

On the plus side of ministry

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Before General Assembly got underway, clergy and other religious professionals arrived a day or two early for our own meetings. I scarcely had time to check messages among workshops, worship, conversations, and occasional meals. Time with colleagues is so precious to me!

One highlight from Ministry Days:

The annual “25/50 year service” honors ministers who were ordained 25 and 50 years ago in a very meaningful worship service. Each “class” selects one of their own to deliver a short sermon that usually looks back over the decades and into the future challenges of ministry. This year Lindi Ramsden and Richard Gilbert were so honored.

Lindi Ramsden helped her San Jose congregation grow from 30 to 300 members over a 17 year span. Among other accomplishments, she started a Spanish-language service and the UU Legislative Ministry in California (UULM). She has now left the parish and works full time as Executive Director of UULM.

Dick Gilbert served several churches, with his longest tenure in Rochester, NY. Always a prophetic minister and a renowned preacher, he wrote Building Your Own Theology, including a series on Ethics, and How Much Do We Deserve?  These are both wonderful curricula designed to generate conversation among us so that we come away with a stronger sense of our own beliefs. He also wrote a meditation manual, In the Holy Quiet of This Hour.

It is such a joy to recognize and celebrate successful ministry over decades of faithful service. During the Service of Living Tradition, another beloved tradition, we celebrate ministers who have achieved Preliminary Fellowship, Final Fellowship, retirement from full-time ministry, and those who have died in the past year. Thus our names are called into sacred space four times, if we are so fortunate. Each year we scan the lists and note the names of our beloved friends and colleagues. Bless them all!

Jun27

A Harsh Wake-Up Call

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The Berry Street Essay was established by the Rev. William Ellery Channing in 1820. His church was the Federal Street Church in Boston, but his study faced Berry Street, thus its name. It is now the longest annual lecture series in the United States!  A Unitarian Universalist minister is asked each year to deliver the lecture on some aspect of ministry.

This year the Berry Street Essay was delivered by the Rev. Deborah Pope-Lance. She is a psychotherapist and a consultant to clergy and congregations, and a minister affiliated with First Parish Church in Wayland, MA. Her expertise is in healing the aftermath of clergy sexual abuse–the scourge of congregational life. Deborah has provided consultation to multiple denominations and faith communities.

What is a faith community all about but to provide sanctuary? Community, spiritual growth, social action, yes, but within a safe place. Unfortunately the sanctuary is sometimes violated.

When professional boundaries are crossed it is always the individual in authority who is ultimately responsible. No matter how tempting a counselee or congregant might be; no matter how he or she might pursue their affections, clergy have to draw the line clearly and forthrightly.

This is not an egalitarian relationship! Ministers in their work settings have an unspoken “authority” by virtue of their office. Boundary violations hurt not only the congregant, but all the family members, the children, the congregation, and the very office of Minister.

I was stunned to hear some estimates: In a 400-adult member congregation, 7 women have experienced clergy sexual violations. In addition, 32 women in that congregation have witnessed this in one of their congregations. Women can also be perpetrators of abuse, though the incidence is lower among reported cases.

Deborah said that ministers who serve as Interim Ministers estimate that 67 percent of congregations have some kind of sexual abuse in their history. The ripples continue for years and for generations unless there is appropriate intervention. And we’re talking about Unitarian Universalists here–just as prevalent as any other faith tradition.

Members of congregations can lean on ministers, but we may not lean on you. We are your ministers–we are not your friends in the same way that you are friends with one another. We must have friendships outside the congregation; we must have strong collegial connections; and we must become more and more spiritually grounded.

I have witnessed the aftermath of sexual boundary violations, I have seen men’s ministries devastated, and I have helped women recover from trauma. My experience as Resident Advocate for a women’s shelter opened my eyes back in the 80’s. Wednesday’s lecture by Deborah Pope-Lance was another wake-up call.

A few bad apples spoil the pie, the cider, the applesauce, and the entire orchard. Let me know if you want to share your story.