Category Archives: spirituality

Sep19

Multi-tasking

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The turn of the year, Rosh Hashanah, a bit of rain and slightly cooler weather has brought me back to life after a long summer.

Multi-tasking today to finish a one page resume (one page!), pack for a road trip, wrestle with an online banking problem, finish laundry for said trip, and meeting a roofer about a leak after said rain have me super conscious of time and efficiency.

Started out the day at Texas French Bread for a yummy breakfast with friends. I wasn’t quite awake enough to choose among the options, but the recommended breakfast tostadas are tasty!

The roof leak ruined a bedroom ceiling and made a royal mess. We did have buckets out and Jon punched a hole in the ceiling to keep the water under some control instead of spreading further. Fortunately we have a good company, Ja-Mar Roofing. Daniel and Lupe did a good job in finding a previous leak and tested it thoroughly. That one came through an outdoor electrical outlet and into the wall. This time my guess is that a seam where two sections of the roof come together is the source of the latest problem. I am thrilled with the rain; too bad some of it had to fall into my house instead of on thirsty trees.

The road trip is just to northern Arkansas. We’re aiming for Crystal Bridges Museum that friends have said is a good art museum in a beautiful setting. Travel is always fun, especially in a car. Side trips are always an option and no one is expecting us at any particular time.

The best part about having “too much to do”? I get much more done. Nothing like a deadline to keep me focused. Writing a blog was not on the essential list, but here ya go!

Sep15

Circle of Colleagues

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A group of trusted peers helps many a person stay sane!

Who but the people in your line of work understand fully the challenges you face? When I was a young woman, recently married and with one then two sons to raise, neighborhood mothers offered a lifeline as we learned by experience and from each other. Since then I have often developed special relationships with co-workers.

As a clergyperson I find collegial connections essential to my formation and continuing education.

Clergy  love the people we serve but we need friends among our peers. They are the folks we can lean on in times of struggle–and there are many! My group of twelve meets monthly if we can possibly be there. We share a devotional time of reflection and ritual. We brag on our successes but more importantly we share the raw edges of our lives, the places where we’re bruised and bleeding. We are bound by mutual expectations of confidentiality so that we, too, have a safe place to be open and real.

Uncertainty, confusion and doubt? Of course.      Requests for advice? Sometimes.      Leaning on one another? By all means.

We hold one another accountable when our professionalism or actions fall short of our Code of Ethics as Unitarian Universalists. Between meetings we often follow up with a phone call of support or a one-on-one meeting. We serve as mentors to one another–either on a formal basis or through simple collegiality.

Then we go back to our ministries, refreshed and ready to serve.

Thank you, colleagues!

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Sep7

Going Home

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Homegoing requires leaving somewhere and someone. This week I visited my dear sister Madeleine, her husband Richard, and the kids and grandkids. On the plane toward home thoughts of leaving followed one another through memory’s nooks and crannies.

Any time I leave my sister I remember the times I left my mother after a visit, even though she’s been gone since 1996. Upon leaving her house, there would be hugs, expressions of love, then waves until she disappeared from view. Then my tears would flow. So much of her was passed down to Madeleine and me–our homes are full of heirlooms and our personal habits remind ourselves of Mama.

Over the year we have said a final goodbye to other family members: grandparents, brother Hall, Mama, Daddy, sister Jean, and cousin Martin are the closest relatives who have preceded us in death–the ultimate homegoing, their ultimate spiritual journey. We will carry their memories for X number of years with no idea when our time will come (or go, as it were).

So much leaving! Children learn to go to sleep, sometimes with the help of a lullaby; parents let their children climb into a giant school bus or head to camp or move into a dormitory or apartment of their own. The prospect of leaving highlights our poignant need to attend to everyday relationships. They’re so ordinary and therefore quite extraordinary. No one can know how or when they might end.

Leave by choice or by circumstance: home, school, job, relationship, country, comfort, tradition. . . . Just go where you must and enjoy the journey!!

A few family pix: the four of us kids in 1957; three sisters and our mother when our brother died; and a departure picture when Madeleine was seeing me off from Columbus in January this year. Farewell for now!

Aug24

Reconnection

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Kathleen and Jon were married about five years ago. It was my honor and privilege to officiate. We had an immediate connection through their names and my husband’s and mine. “My” Jon was included in the wedding festivities and we were invited to the rehearsal dinner at ZTejas Grill, hosted by Kathleen’s father Richard Moore.

Fast forward a few years. Jon and Kathleen have two children. Serena is 4 1/2 by now and Jacob is almost 2. Beautiful children; happily ever after and all that. Then in June I was contacted through this very blog. When Jon “found” me I was traveling in North Carolina, but that was old news. By the time he sent the message, I was in Phoenix for a church conference. Jon wrote:

I just read on your blog here that you are/were out of town, are you still out of the area? The reason I ask is that Kathleen’s father has passed away, and we would like to have you officiate the memorial. From what I understand, he liked you when you talked to him at our rehearsal dinner; you made a strong impact on him, and we know that he would have liked to have you for this.

A sweet reconnection with a family I had met as a group during one special event. They lived close enough for visits with Grandpa–Pflugerville, Austin, Cedar Park, San Marcos, and Leander. A little over a year ago Dick and his third wife Marsha moved back to Texas and spent much more time with the kids and four young grandkids.

Kathleen, Lori, and Jason remembered wild rides with Dad on a golf cart; the Bradley Kit car he worked to assemble (and never quite finished); and his invention of the touch tone phone. Too bad he never applied for a patent before someone else followed through and manufactured it! The family enjoyed entertaining dinners together every month and brought in the extended family on holidays. The greatest memory after Dad died was the laughter and hilarity of these times together.

I’m glad Dick and Marsha, who had been his childhood sweetheart in San Marcos, moved back to Texas. He had been absent for most of 25 years in Albuquerque or Florida after he and their mother divorced. When family members separate, the children–in this case, teenagers–feel a real void. In the midst of pain they all did the best they knew how.

How do YOU keep love alive? It’s so easy to lose touch with friends and family members whom we don’t see on a regular basis. It’s not so easy to break ties when we would much rather stay connected. Perhaps Dick and his children needed that time apart to go on with their independent lives without undue drama. I’ll never know the whole story. The ending of Dick’s story is that he was indeed back in touch. This Henry Van Dyke poem was included in the memorial service:

For Katrina’s Sun-Dial

Time is

Too slow for those who wait,
Too swift for those who fear,
Too long for those who grieve,
Too short for those who rejoice;
But for those who love,
Time is Eternity.

Hours fly,
Flowers die
New days,
New ways
Pass by.
Love stays.

–Henry,  Van Dyke

Aug21

Defriending

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“Ouch!”

“Was it something I posted? Doesn’t she like me any more? Why would she cut me off?” Maybe it’s just my imagination, but these thoughts might have crossed the minds of some of my Facebook friends.

It was not easy to do and required a lot of reflection. Several days ago a ministerial colleague of mine posted that she had de-friended all her former congregants. “It feels crappy,” she said. But she woke me up to what I must do. Every now and then I had heard that this was the “best practice” but had resisted. After all, if it’s posted on Facebook it can’t be harmful to read without comment, can it?

With every posting, though, I remembered that relationship and it was keeping me a little bit stuck. I had known many of them for nine years, some longer than that. Weddings, child blessings, coming of age ceremonies, memorial services, yes but mostly the week by week and daily connections as we did the work of ministry. I still want to know about the big events. Births and deaths are the biggest events upon which I would love to heap blessings. I just have to do it from a distance.

As I went through the list of friends I reviewed their latest postings and sent love and prayers to each of them. After all, we were in relationship for a long time. Maybe someday in some other way we will be again and we can be Facebook friends again. But it’s time for me to move out of that world for my sake and for theirs.

I do hope and pray for blessings to grace those lives as beloved individuals and as a congregation. May life smile upon you and bless you. May you know that you are loved.

 

Aug7

They are Other

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I awakened from a dream about the Wisconsin shooting of a Sikh temple–a gurdwara (“Gateway to the Guru”). It was not a narrative dream but the disconnected images seemed to ask a single question: Why?

At the time of the dream I knew nothing about the shooter–background, motivation, history of violence, mental state, family life, upbringing–except that he was male, 40 years old, a former Army soldier. I’ll not use his name. All of the unknowns of his life factored into a context. He had guns and knew how to use them. There was a recent high-profile shooting in Colorado. There was a target: people who undoubtedly are not like this man.

They are so different, in fact, that their clothing and hair are distinctive; the turbans set them apart. They have a separate community within a suburb near Milwaukee. There was a significantly large assembly at the same place and time. Perhaps worst of all, their religious life, race, culture, language, and country of origin are unfamiliar and somehow “strange.” Sikhs are often confused with Muslims; violence against both distinctive groups has gone up significantly since 2001. Since the Milwaukee shooting, a mosque in Joplin, Missouri, was burned to the ground.

They are Other.

Perhaps that explains the curious lack of media coverage. Yes, it was reported. Yes, one can find info on the web. We were pretty saturated with coverage in Aurora, CO, just a couple of weeks, when there was television coverage for hours on end. More of us relate to going out to a movie than with Sikhism or face it, even going to a worship service of any kind.

What do we have in common with Sikhs? Best I can figure out, they believe in one God, in human equality, and in service to the community. Here’s what Amanda Yaira Robinson has to say, with links to further information.

Jul24

Bending a life

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For those of you who have wondered from my previous blog, I have no plans at present to move. (It could happen some day but not for a long while.) There have been opportunities presented to me and some that I have pursued on my own. Although each of them had positive attributes they ultimately did not fit well enough with my priorities–the things I value more.

Instinct, conscience, and family carry a lot of weight. The story of my life … still unfolding, outcome uncertain. For now I am content and very fortunate to enjoy the unfolding. Life is good.

How about you?

Theodore Parker said (and has often been quoted): “The arc of the moral universe is long, and it bends toward justice.”

Shrink that down a great deal and you might also consider: The arc of my/your life is long and it bends toward _________________.

Something positive, I hope!

Your past may well be full of hard knocks, understanding, or humility. (Better those than hanging on to emotions like anger, resentment, or remorse.) But look ahead, especially when faced with one of those crucial decisions. What has been the arc of your life, where is it going, and why? Most importantly, how does it serve your higher purpose?

Blessings to all!

Jul4

Two Transylvanias

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Back from a month of travel and books!

My last blogs placed me in Brevard and Asheville, NC, visiting friends. Beautiful people, beautiful forests, waterfalls, and cool air. On Sunday morning of our visit, Jon and I walked about 4 blocks to the Unitarian Universalist church in Brevard. It’s called Unitarian Universalists of Transylvania County, a very descriptive name (trans + sylvania = through a wooded land).

In May of 1999 Jon and I made a more distant journey to Transylvania, formerly part of Hungary and now part of Romania.  Many of the people are historically Unitarian. They experienced a great deal of persecution for their religion and language. The irony is that the Unitarian King John Sigismund issued an Edict of Religious Toleration in 1568 – “The Edict of Torda (or Turda), also known as the Patent of Toleration (Act of Religious Tolerance and Freedom of Conscience), was an attempt by King John II Sigismund of Hungary to guarantee religious freedom in his realm. Specifically, it broadened previous grants (to Roman Catholics, Lutherans, and Calvinists) to include the Unitarian Church, and allowed toleration (not legal guarantees) for other faiths” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edict_of_Toleration)

Public schools do not teach Hungarian and no Hungarian is allowed in the public square on signs or in speech. Therefore the Unitarian churches keep Hungarian culture and language alive. Their motto, counter to Trinitarianism, is very simple: “God Is One.” In Hungarian it’s spelled Egy Az Isten and pronounced Edge Oz Eeshten. That simple yet profound declaration is posted over every church gate and in the sanctuary.

Our host in the city of Brassó (“Brasov” in Romanian) was the Rev. Sándor Máthé and his wife Sindike. They live next door to the magnificent church in a parsonage from which we could go directly down to the church in a driving rainstorm. Twelve children participated in catechism and Confirmation that day (11 boys and 1 girl!) and received as adult members in the faith. [Fun fact: they used Jon’s pen to sign the Membership Book.] The Unitarian Church in Eastern Europe is far different from this country’s. Its depths of history and tradition are inspirational.

A memory trip indeed! I’ll get back to my intended topic by and by . . . Happy Independence Day, wherever you live!

May22

Rockbrook Camp Memories

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Jon and I enjoyed a wonderful road trip to Brevard, North Carolina, to see our long-time friends Gayle and Gordon. Every day we stepped outside or drove a short distance and found beautiful places to walk and appreciate new trees and flowers.

Marco Trattoria, Brevard, NC

A long, long time ago I was a camp counselor at Rockbrook Camp for Girls, near Brevard. In fact, it is just 4 miles from Gordon and Gayle. When I browsed through Rockbrook’s website, I discovered that the 1921 founder Nancy Carrier was the great-granddaughter of the famous P.T. Barnum.

What a walk back in time!

I remember looking through job opportunities in a publication of some sort at Stephens College. It was near the end of my Freshman year. Since I had been a Girl Scout, a camper, and a counselor, it looked like a great way to spend a summer. Besides, I wouldn’t have to spend it at home! My parents drove me there

I was hired as a hiking counselor, so I took groups of girls on hikes every day and on 3-day or longer trips as well. One of the best destinations was Lake Toxaway, where we swam at the base of Toxaway Falls. So much fun!

Although there have been changes over the years, I could still remember various places–the dining hall, of course (we were there 3x/day) and the layout of the cabins.  It’s hard to believe that I still have the red sweater that was part of the uniform on Sundays and Spirit Nights (last night of camp). It was fun to rediscover lots of memories.

Rockbrook still offers crafts, horseback riding, archery, swimming, hiking, riflery, etc., on 200 acres. When I was there I got a sharpshooter certification during days off (in prone, kneeling, and standing positions). Girls under my supervision came for either 4 or 6 week sessions and a few of my campers stayed for multiple sessions. The girls are 6-16 years old, divided into Junior, Middler, and Senior Camps. They get to choose their activities and change them up every few days. A very rich experience.

I remember the time my boyfriend came for a visit on his motorcycle. I didn’t leave the camp, but I did persuade my hikers that they really wanted to do something else. (They were happy to cover for me.) Burton and I went hiking on our own and found a field of raspberries that were quite delicious. It was a wonderful afternoon–except that we were spotted on Castle Rock by the Camp Director. Oops! Not a huge amount of trouble, as I recall.

One girl named Denise gave me the honor of naming her donkey Trichel, my last name at the time. (“Trichel” rhymes with “Michelle”). She thought it was a pretty name and it was a way to remember each other. How many of YOU have had a donkey named for you?

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May7

Wrap Up

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This has been such a busy week that I haven’t had time to write until now, a full week into May!

My sister Madeleine arrived from Columbus, Ohio, on Thursday, April 26–right on Jon’s and my 15th wedding anniversary. We enjoyed a nice TexMex dinner on a garden patio. Lovely plants, water features, and fans kept us cool at Vivo. Good food, too!

The weekend was awesome with a fantastic service and sendoff from Live Oak Unitarian Universalist Church. Love that congregation! Love the friends and family members who came just for that final service. Some “Loose Threads” and other members of Tapestry Singers came to join the choir in singing “Seasons of Love.” (The one about “Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes . . . how do you measure a year in the life . . . how about love?”

Lots of hugs and love from people of all ages. I will miss the children and youth most especially. It is such a blessing to watch them grow up and mature year after year. They are now frozen in time in my mind’s eye. Adults don’t change nearly so rapidly, but they, too, have filled my memory bank for years to come as they are now.

Already the congregation anticipates the arrival of an Interim Minister who will assist with multiple transitions, both personal and congregational, beginning August 1. Meanwhile, lay led teams have been doing wonderful work in preparing to cover the 3 months in between. It’s exciting to imagine the changes going on already!

Now my key ring is lighter and my email has dropped to a manageable level. No complaints there!