Author Archives: Kathleen

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About Kathleen

Spiritual Companion since 2016: A spiritual companion simply converses with one person or small group at a time to explore their connections with the universe or higher power of their understanding. Support, companionship, and mutual growth are keys to successful spiritual direction, along with a safe space for exploration. For 25 years I served several congregations as Pastor or as Consultant to pastors and/or congregations.

SX

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NO, it’s not shorthand  for SEX–but for “South By.”

SXSW reads South by Southwest; insiders often shorten the name to “South By.”  It’s a big series of overlapping festivals in Austin, TX: Education, Interactive, Film, and Music. For almost 2 weeks these events roll through and overlap. With so many schools and colleges out for Spring Break, people pour into town. There are lots of satellite events, too, and free music all over town. I’ve heard that the population of Austin doubles during this time, so locals avoid downtown and the roads that feed into it.

For several years Maggie, a close friend of mine, has attended the SXSW Film Festival. She is especially fond of documentaries and tries to see as many as possible. This year I decided to join the crowd as part of study leave (so much to learn from movies!) and vacation. As a first timer, I’ve pored over the schedule and movie descriptions and locations and come up with a tentative plan. As the days go by and people start talking about their favs, my list will undoubtedly change.

Today’s lineup: Best of Vimeo Shorts; Girl Walk//All Day; and Wikileaks: Secrets and Lies.

Descriptions from the web site:

Best of Vimeo Shorts: “It’s hard to construct a program from the world’s most impressive collection of short-form media. With millions of incredible videos to choose from, it’s not a question of finding good stuff, it’s how does one ignore so much brilliance? The curators at Vimeo have taken on the task, though, and their existential pain is your gain.

“Vimeo Loves showcases the diversity and stunning quality of the Vimeo community’s work. From timelapse experiments that depict the Earth in new ways, to tours of new worlds never before visited, get ready for some of the most captivating videos on Vimeo.”

Girl Walk // All Day is a feature-length dance music video and tale of urban exploration that follow three dancers across New York City. They turn the city’s sidewalks, parks, and stadiums into an evolving stage as a story of rebellion, love, and discovery unfolds. Shot entirely in public spaces, and funded entirely by crowd-sourcing, Girl Walk // All Day is a statement about the power of community and public space. Set to the album All Day by mashup musician Girl Talk, it’s also an insanely fun love letter to New York.”

“Produced by Oxford Film and Television, Wikileaks: Secrets and Lies is Bafta winner Patrick Forbes’ seventy-six-minute documentary of the Wikileaks affair as told by the people involved: personal, moving and frequently hot tempered, it documents history in the making and establishes a new frontier for technology and journalism.

“A definitive factual account of the Wikileaks affair, the film features the first major television interview with Wikileaks founder Julian Assange.”

Want more? Click here

And the winner is . . .

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Sermon Series: Doorways and Threshholds

Coming in or out, over or through, we continually encounter doorways and decide whether or not to cross the threshhold. This series offers some of the lessons learned as we have navigated these passages together.

Or, “The Preposition Series”

Here’s a link to the series. March 4 message is posted in text and audio. Others will follow, all in good time.

Blessings to all!

Name this series!

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Suggest a name for this series, the last of my sermons at Live Oak . . .

Over the next couple of months there is method to my madness. It’s this “bully pulpit” from which I want to cover a few foundational aspects of my ministry and that of the church. After all, I gave myself the title “Minister of Congregational Life.” Five sermons, five themes:

1) Mar. 4: How do we welcome people who come to Live Oak? It’s not enough just to have a comfortable place for ourselves, though of course we want that. We also have to make room for about 10 visitors every Sunday—to welcome them, share with them who we are, and invite them into further participation.

2) Mar. 25: How do we move from this sanctuary and oasis of the spirit into the bigger world out there? We need to find our voice and we need to take it out into the market square.

3) Apr. 1: This has to be fun! On April Fool’s Day we’ll take a lighter look at ourselves and how this can be an absolutely, positively delightful place to grow in mind, body, and spirit.

4) Apr. 8: On Easter Sunday we’ll have our traditional Flower Communion. For us, Easter is indeed about resurrection, but it is a resurrection of nature, a resurrection of spring, and a resurrection of community. The use of ritual and a lovely exchange of flowers is an important aspect of congregational life.

5) Apr. 29: Finally, we’ll look at departures and other journeys. I can’t help but think of the people whose homes, offices, and schools were completely wiped out in this week’s tornadoes. Departures can be sudden and devastating, or they can be well anticipated and prepared. Still, no matter how much preparation is done, the departure comes in the middle of the story and no one knows the ending. . . . Maybe good, maybe bad, too soon to tell.

Spiraling through Time and Space

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It’s weird. I am “hurtling” north on Interstate 35 yet it seems as though I’m going back in time.

Memory triggers for me included Bruceville-Eddy, home of Greene Family Camp where I studied world religions with students from 4 different seminaries; Lorena, where a friend used to live and we studied together; Waco, where I lived and worked for 3 1/2 years and have gone back as a Board workshop facilitator and as a consultant; Elm Mott, where a pair of sisters grew up and each became UU; Lake Whitney, where I know someone who used to be UU in membership but is still UU in practice.

I approached Dallas where I attended Perkins School of Theology and taught classes at First Unitarian-Dallas, then veered off toward Ft. Worth and Arlington, where I was a student minister. These were all places where I taught and served and learned ever so much. Memories of those I married, those I buried, those I blessed, and those I left behind.

Back in time. All these thoughts were mixed with the knowledge of leave-taking from my current ministry and with the personal growth and setbacks and losses and gains I’ve experienced over these years. Oh, the places I’ve been!

So I was moving forward and backward in time and space, watching 20-25 years pass before my eyes–not in a flash as is told regarding near-death experiences, but in slow motion. Visions included spirals up and down through multiple experiences and lessons I’ve had to learn more than once.

Weird, but wonderful to drive alone in a car listening over and over to Terri Hendrix, who sings, “Moon on the water, help me to rise.” In so-called “ordinary time” (if we’re lucky) there sometimes comes an unusual confluence of ideas and insights, opportunities and options. Oh, the places I’ll go!

All this has contributed to who I am today, for good or ill. I have gifts as well as blind spots. There have been times of trauma, challenge, conflict, and betrayal. There have been dreams come true, successes, triumphs, and joy. I am reminded of Bruce Findlow’s lyrics in hymn #128, Singing the Living Tradition:

“For all that is our life we sing our thanks and praise; for all life is a gift which we are called to use to build the common good and make our own days glad.”

Kairos

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Kairos has found me at last in this time, this space, this moment of reflection. Cool morning, warm sun streaming through my favorite window.

Having moved non-stop it seems from holidays, son’s wedding, conference, sister-time, ministers’ retreat (with work to fill “spare time”), pastoral care, a couple of sermons squeezed in, meetings, plans, and more, means that personal time has been limited at best. Not a half day off with no work that had to be done, to the point that it did not qualify as true rest–just another thing to wedge between A & B and on toward Z. I have not had/blocked out enough time to give my soul a chance to catch up.

So I pause without agenda–except to let everything go–for the next few hours. Let this sunshine recharge my weakened batteries for a spell. The battery warning light was not glowing orange but red. Reserves have been tapped frequently to get through specific tasks or responsibilities only to leave me depleted at the end. Complete a task–barely–and move on before taking time to sweep my spirit clean. Float free like wind and water.

So let my spirit clear up with these blue skies after a gray day; let this breeze flow through me; let this poem speak to my heart; let this walk bring me down to earth; let this music dance for me until I can dance, too.

Back to the Real World . . .

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Rob and Rinko are on their way back to Tokyo (Kawasaki-Shi, to be more precise). They will spend one night in San Francisco with her uncle. They’ll be home in the early hours of Thursday, Japan time, and back to work just a few hours later.

It’s so quiet here without them! My heart has grown larger with the addition of a new family member plus conversations about starting a family in a few years. Even his younger brother Fred is pondering marriage and family. They were always “late bloomers” and that has always been a good thing for them. Fine young men.

The wedding was “whimsical and wonderful.” It was Lin’s first visit to Texas, though she has been to California and New York. Rob made most of the wedding decisions (in spite of anyone else’s advice). You will probably guess which parts gave me pause!

Lunch before the wedding at Golden Corral. This was a sentimental choice because of multiple times Rob went there as a teen and young adult. Lin was quite happy, as she is with almost everything. An amazing selection of fried foods, but there were raw veggies as well. It was a little awkward to sit with my ex Bob and our younger son Fred, but we managed to reminisce about some of the good old days. His wife did not join this party of a dozen or more.

In spite of my worries otherwise, Rob did actually wear a tux. I walked him down one aisle, then Bob walked Lin down the other aisle. Not until it was time to get Rob did I see that he really and truly would not be wearing shoes. That felt awkward to me but it made him happy and Lin didn’t mind. He goes barefoot whenever possible and just has flip flops in his backpack when necessary for restaurants, etc.

The wedding took place at Northwoods UU Church in The Woodlands, TX. It is where the boys grew up and I was a member for 15 years before they ordained me in 1993. Rob and Fred were there for that occasion, too, so it seemed like the best place for Rob’s wedding. We had plenty of time after lunch to walk through the building and grounds that we had all helped build in 1984-85. Lin and I even took a walk in the neighborhood until it was time to get ready for the main event.

I helped Lin with her wedding dress. Since the room didn’t have a mirror at all (I had asked ahead of time) it was good to have brought a full length mirror where she fussed with makeup and headpiece.

During the ceremony, the minister read a “love letter” written by Rob and Lin. With a reference to Rob’s longstanding nickname as ThunderRabbit, it concluded with a reference to rabbits happily playing in a field with plenty of ice cream and pizza available. At that point the congregation was signaled to put on their rabbit ears to surprise Lin and Rob.

Family photos after the ceremony, cake and sparkling cider and other goodies afterward.

Karen and Bob had provided the cake, some of the drinks, and the flowers–a bouquet for Lin and a boutonniere for Rob. Karen had loaned a pearl necklace to Lin. Karen left after about an hour of the reception and retrieved the pearls. I ran out to my car to get new pearls to give Lin–necklace, earrings, and 3 bracelets. I had bought them on sale plus they were less expensive river pearls,  but had held them back because I knew Karen had loaned her some. I thought these were interesting with their irregular shapes, and felt just right for Lin. She was delighted and I was so glad to have bought them for her.

After cleanup and lockup, fifteen of us migrated to Dimassi’s for dinner. We had already had dessert first! Jon wisely didn’t eat; I overdid it just to taste some of the delicious Greek delicacies. The party finally broke up and dispersed in several directions. What a fun time!

Rob! Lin!

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Tonight’s the night Rob and Lin arrive! Decorating and cleaning are done, groceries are stowed, and there’s still time to chill before Jet Blue brings them from San Francisco to Austin. It has been very nice to be able to talk to them at will on the phone. Lin’s uncle had a prepaid phone for them to use. Yesterday they were at Alcatraz.

Plans are pretty loose so we’ll all just go with some kind of holiday / wedding flow. Second son Fred went shopping with me today to Costco and HEB. Plus, he donated a few things from his own refrigerator.

For Rob’s sentimental reasons, lunch on the day of the wedding will be at Golden Corral! Back during his high school days it was the only decent restaurant around. Not exactly as elegant as I would wish, but it’s not my party. I suppose when you live so far away, old memories trump usual preferences. We’ll have other chances to take them to restaurants of our choice.

Lin’s dress arrived about a week ago and it’s quite beautiful. Shoes, tiara, and veil accompany the whole lacy dress with its petticoats and medium length train. The lace, including lace straps, makes the most lasting impression. (No, she won’t wear it to Golden Corral–there will be plenty of time to change at the church.)

Question: if you were in Austin for just a few days, what would you do?

Jon and Fred and I will all troop out to the airport to meet them. Can’t wait!

21 days and counting . . .

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Wedding 3 weeks from today! I reserved the sanctuary, kitchen, and two rooms for the bride and groom to get ready. This will be in Rob’s home church, Northwoods Unitarian Universalist Church in The Woodlands, TX, on Dec. 30. His long-time friend Christina Branum-Martin will officiate. The church will still be decorated for Christmas, a lovely background for a wedding. My sister and her husband also married on Dec. 30 and I remember how pretty everything looked.

I called Bob Nugen, Rob’s dad this morning, and asked him to arrange lunch for about 15 close friends and family and to get some flowers–corsage, boutonniere, and bouquet. We marveled together that Rob would actually get married. We speculated on the chances of a grandchild someday.

Lunch before the wedding will substitute for a rehearsal dinner the night before. In the afternoon, guests will bring their own tasty beverages and snacks for noshing and remembering old times we’ve shared. The ceremony is planned for 5pm, followed by a reception. The movable party will then travel to Austin for New Year’s Eve weekend. Just a simple, happy occasion!

I put the Christmas tree up today and will continue with the decorating prior to Rob’s and Lin’s arrival on the 22nd. Rob is likely to remember many of the ornaments, including some made by his grandmother. Decorating will be more fun than it has been for years! Gifts will have to be small and packable  if they will make it back to Tokyo.

In just four weeks they will already have come and gone! 😦

Ten days can go by in a big hurry, especially when the time is divided between Houston and Austin. A lot of Rob’s friends will travel some distance to catch him when they can even if they can’t make it to the wedding. Memories will last much longer, so I’m making a point to remember this preparation time.

Where Is God?

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“Where is God in all this for you now?” It’s a typical question posed by my spiritual director. Here is today’s answer, as always subject to change!

For me God is in my heart along with all the joy and sorrow and especially with the confusion, trying to fan a flame of certainty or certitude or clarity. Then if God is within me and all beings and the universe and bigger than the cosmos, God is the heartbeat of it all; the electrical impulse that keeps us going (until it doesn’t–but then, it’s still pulsing), and of course God is linked to the breath–breath of life and cessation of breath (yet it is still flowing all around us).

In the flow . . . let it all go . . . breathe in peace / God . . . breathe out love / God . . . “all shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well” (Julian of Norwich).

Dietrich Bonhoeffer said, “I believe in the sun even when it is not shining.” When I pay attention to the breath of life and the heartbeat within everything I believe in the power of God and I believe in everlasting love that powers and sustains us all. Rest in that love.

Yes!

Mother of the Groom

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My older son Rob has been living in Tokyo for almost 9 years. I visited him the first year, thinking I should hurry over there before he came back. But he stayed. He taught English at first; now he is a computer programmer.

The big news is that he married Rinko Hayashi (known as “Lin”) last summer. I have met Lin only through Skype. Her father is Brazilian and her mother Taiwanese. She and her siblings grew up in Rio until she was 10 and her parents divorced. Mom decided to relocate to Tokyo, where her sister was living. So Lin has a rather international perspective simply from life experience.

Lin wanted to climb Mt. Fuji and was looking for a companion to go with her. A mutual friend knew that Rob had made the climb and was the adventurous sort who would gladly go again. That’s how they met. He has always preferred adventure to security. He has been a risk-taker on numerous occasions–on skateboards, roller blades, bicycles, barefoot, etc., and has the scars to prove it!

Lin and Rob are coming to the States for Christmas and New Year’s! They want to have a “real” wedding ceremony and celebration so we’re trying to work out details among all the interested parties. Rob is so laid back he thinks everything will just fall into place. But he proposed New Year’s Eve for the wedding, when it’s hard to find reservations for anything and there are multiple competing interests. Should the wedding be in The Woodlands at his home church? Or should it be in Austin, where there are places to stay? Can we manage two places even though they’re 3 hours apart?

Questions, questions! Many couples take over a year to plan a wedding. I have officiated many, many weddings, but I’ve never been the mother of the groom. A colleague of mine and long-time friend of Rob’s will take care of the ceremony. I have to balance practical concerns with the dreams of simple elegance on a major holiday weekend. How much motherly advice is too much?

Lin wants to buy a dress after they get here–between Dec. 22 and 30–because they are so expensive in Japan. I will advise her to wear whatever makes her feel beautiful. Most of all I want her to feel welcome in this strange country of ours. Welcome to the family, Lin!