Tag Archives: family

Nov22

Mother of the Groom

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My older son Rob has been living in Tokyo for almost 9 years. I visited him the first year, thinking I should hurry over there before he came back. But he stayed. He taught English at first; now he is a computer programmer.

The big news is that he married Rinko Hayashi (known as “Lin”) last summer. I have met Lin only through Skype. Her father is Brazilian and her mother Taiwanese. She and her siblings grew up in Rio until she was 10 and her parents divorced. Mom decided to relocate to Tokyo, where her sister was living. So Lin has a rather international perspective simply from life experience.

Lin wanted to climb Mt. Fuji and was looking for a companion to go with her. A mutual friend knew that Rob had made the climb and was the adventurous sort who would gladly go again. That’s how they met. He has always preferred adventure to security. He has been a risk-taker on numerous occasions–on skateboards, roller blades, bicycles, barefoot, etc., and has the scars to prove it!

Lin and Rob are coming to the States for Christmas and New Year’s! They want to have a “real” wedding ceremony and celebration so we’re trying to work out details among all the interested parties. Rob is so laid back he thinks everything will just fall into place. But he proposed New Year’s Eve for the wedding, when it’s hard to find reservations for anything and there are multiple competing interests. Should the wedding be in The Woodlands at his home church? Or should it be in Austin, where there are places to stay? Can we manage two places even though they’re 3 hours apart?

Questions, questions! Many couples take over a year to plan a wedding. I have officiated many, many weddings, but I’ve never been the mother of the groom. A colleague of mine and long-time friend of Rob’s will take care of the ceremony. I have to balance practical concerns with the dreams of simple elegance on a major holiday weekend. How much motherly advice is too much?

Lin wants to buy a dress after they get here–between Dec. 22 and 30–because they are so expensive in Japan. I will advise her to wear whatever makes her feel beautiful. Most of all I want her to feel welcome in this strange country of ours. Welcome to the family, Lin!

Jan27

Breakfast Tacos, Blessings, and Bamboozlement!

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Breakfast with friends I don’t see very often is a refreshing opportunity. Thanks to FaceBook we already have an inkling of each others’ lives and adventures. Better in some ways than FaceBook, we enjoyed the taste of a delicious repast accompanied by a boost of caffeine, friendly body language and warm hugs.

Travel will take one or more of us to a coast–Galveston and Port Aransas on the Gulf Coast and/or Santa Barbara and Pacific Grove on the Pacific Coast; to Alabama, North Carolina, Ohio, New York, or Massachusetts; to Italy, Switzerland, England, China, or India. We have been so blessed with one or more of these opportunities, past, present, and future, to encounter other parts of the planet we share with several billion people. Culture shock can take us by surprise even within the United States. Such a large country inevitably has a wide range of weather, customs, and dialects.

Ranging further afield, there are challenges of language, history, and currency, to name just a few. Life and the world look so different from the U.S., the U.K., Europe, and southern Asia.

The Lonely Planet’s guide to India tells me that I’ll be bamboozled by the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and atmosphere (not to mention the driving) that will wash over me from every side. For my own bamboozlement I’ll be glad to be part of a group of 12, two of whom hail from India though they now live in the States.

My friends and I also talked about family members, politics, and family members who are politicians. Elections, health care disparities, and the State of the Union all played a part in our conversations.

These kinds of interactions crop up on FaceBook, texts, phone calls, on the Net, and browsing in libraries. One idea draws us in unexpected directions. Ideas multiply exponentially whenever one more point of view is added to the mix. That’s a benefit of community, strengthened by every encounter and blessed by every smile. :~)